Health News with Steven and Mady - Part 3 Mind Set, Motivation, and Real Life.

Perfection keeps a tight grip on our health goals—until one slip makes everything feel broken. We challenge that trap head-on and show a better path: turning a stumble into the start of your next step. This conversation blends mindset science, practical resets, and identity shifts to help you stop spiraling and start choosing again with confidence.

We start by dismantling all-or-nothing thinking—the invisible belief that converts minor mistakes into total failure. Using Byron Katie’s four questions, we walk through how to question harsh thoughts, reduce anxiety, and create space for better choices. From there, we share a four-step bounce-back framework: self-compassion, learning the trigger, taking responsibility, and refocusing on your vision. You’ll hear how to turn guilt into growth by treating it as information, making amends where needed, and translating lessons into boundaries and action.

Then we get tactical. The reset rule says you can restart at your very next choice. We detail physical and mental micro-resets—washing your face, changing your shirt, stepping outside, hydrating, doing 20 jumping jacks, playing upbeat music, practicing gratitude—that rebuild momentum in minutes. We also connect the dots between identity and behavior, showing how I’m someone who takes care of myself outperforms motivation when life gets messy. Finally, we recap core nutrition and habit strategies from earlier in the series: building a balanced plate, using a simple digital scale for clarity, and stacking habits onto routines to reduce friction.

If you’re tired of waiting for Monday and ready to feel steady, this is your blueprint for consistency without shame. Listen, try one tiny reset today, and tell us what identity statement you’re choosing next. If this helped, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can turn guilt into growth.

Chapters

• 0:12 Welcome And Series Context
• 0:40 Why All-Or-Nothing Thinking Derails Health
• 2:20 Reframing Thoughts With Byron Katie
• 3:54 Four Steps To Get Back On Track
• 6:13 Turn Guilt Into Growth
• 7:21 The Reset Rule: Next Choice Now
• 8:20 Practical Resets: Physical And Mental
• 10:16 Multi‑Sensory Learning And Momentum
• 11:29 Identity Drives Behavior And Environment
• 14:28 Recap: Food Foundations And Habits
• 18:17 Mindset: Keep Showing Up
• 18:31 Sponsor And Closing

Transcript

Unknown: 0:12

Cross Roads Podcast presents Health News with Steven and Mady. For those who want to be in the know.

Steven Killfoil: 0:30

Good morning, Crossroads. Welcome back to Crossroads Podcast, Health News with Steven and Mady.

Mady Killfoil: 0:39

Good morning. This is part three of our healthy 2026 series, Mind, Set, Motivation, and Real Life. And this one might be the most important.

Steven Killfoil: 0:52

Because eventually everyone slips.

Mady Killfoil: 0:58

And today we're talking about how to handle that without guilt, shame, or quitting. Most people don't quit because they are lazy.

Steven Killfoil: 1:09

They quit because they think one bad choice erased all the good ones. Remember that quote by A.L. Williams from our Money Matters program? People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.

Mady Killfoil: 1:28

That quote falls directly into the all or nothing mindset. All or nothing thinking divides life into either total success or failure, which can hurt motivation and cause anxiety. You can change this thinking by replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Practicing mindfulness and talking kindly to yourself are also helpful strategies.

Steven Killfoil: 2:01

I missed a workout, so the whole week is ruined. I ate dessert, so the plan is over. Realize that just because you think something, that doesn't make it true or helpful. Byron Cady's four questions can be helpful in reframing negative thoughts and squashing the brain's automatic negative thought patterns. Ask yourself, is this thought true? Can I absolutely one hundred percent know that this thought is true? How do I react to this thought? Who would I be without this thought?

Mady Killfoil: 2:54

All or nothing thinking doesn't lead to health, it leads to quitting because of its rigid mindset that ignores nuances, leading to harsh self-judgment, perfectionism, anxiety, and depression, as any small mistake feels like total failure, making you give up. You need to overcome it by practicing mindfulness, challenge yourself and those extreme thoughts, and aim for gray areas, recognizing that something can be partly good and partly bad.

Steven Killfoil: 3:31

Healthy people fall off track all the time. Let's face it, life sometimes gets in the way.

Mady Killfoil: 3:40

The difference is they don't turn it into a personality flaw.

Steven Killfoil: 3:44

Yeah, they say, okay. Next choice.

Mady Killfoil: 3:50

No spiral, no shame, no waiting for Monday. Or as the saying goes, if you fall off your horse, then you get right back on and start riding. Here are four tips to get back on track. Number one, have self-compassion that you're doing the best you can. Remember, the goal is not to always stay on track, the goal is to fall off track less often. Recognize your off track more quickly and get back on track more gracefully. Number two, see what you can learn. What triggered you? Where did you did your reactivity come from? When you look at it objectively, what do you see? What can you learn about yourself? Do you need to adjust your practices? Number three, take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame others for your reactivity. Make amends if they are called for. And number four, refocus on your vision and resume your practices.

Steven Killfoil: 5:04

They say, okay, next choice. So what do you do if you fall off track? Well, be kind to yourself. Acknowledge what went wrong and accept it without being harsh on yourself. Don't wait for tomorrow or next week to come. There will always be the excuse of starting tomorrow. But don't let that stop you. Set goals for yourself and finally start small.

Mady Killfoil: 5:39

Guilt sounds productive, but it isn't. So use guilt for growth. Acknowledge the feeling as information, not punishment. Identify what it signals about your values, and then transform it into positive action by making amends, learning from the mistake, setting boundaries, and focusing on future improvement rather than dwelling in shame. Guilt becomes growth when it motivates change, teaches lessons, and helps you align your actions with your values for a better future.

Steven Killfoil: 6:19

Yeah, guilt says you failed. Growth says you learned. Guilt is a heavy emotion, one that can weigh us down or push us forward. If left unchecked, it keeps us stuck in shame, regret, and self-punishment. But when used wisely, guilt can be a catalyst for profound personal transformation. The key is understanding when guilt is helpful and when it's simply holding us back. When you feel guilty, ask yourself, is this guilt helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into a positive action.

Mady Killfoil: 7:08

Health isn't about being perfect, it's about being honest.

Steven Killfoil: 7:13

If guilt alone worked, uh no one would struggle.

Mady Killfoil: 7:18

Yeah, that's true. Here is the reset rule. You can restart at your very next choice. To restart any day, acknowledge your feelings without judgment, create a physical and mental break with simple actions like washing your face or changing clothes, then focus on a small achievable task to build momentum. Reminding yourself you can always start fresh with the next minute or hour.

Steven Killfoil: 7:53

Not tomorrow, not Monday, not next month. First, acknowledge and reframe. Name it. Tell yourself I'm feeling frustrated, or this moment is tough to gain perspective. Challenging thoughts. Counter this day is ruined with the whole day isn't ruined, just this moment. Just think, if Edison had quit at the 9,999th time he attempted to create a light bulb, we'd all be living in darkness. Yeah. He was successful on his ten thousandth try. Wow. He never gave up. Practice gratitude. List things you're thankful for to shift focus. Thank God for allowing you to live to see another one of his beautiful sunrises.

Mady Killfoil: 8:58

And I said this uh on a podcast a few uh years ago. We have a bowl, and uh we we got that as a present, and it's it said on it blessings, and there are uh paper cards there, and from time to time we will take one and we will just write there what we think that we are blessed with or grateful for, and it's just giving you a uh a very good feeling because you are acknowledging that you are blessed. So do a physical reset. Next meal, next week, next glass of water. Change scenery, step outside, move to another room, or just look out the window, wash up, splash cold water on your face or brush your teeth, move your body, do 20 jumping jacks, stretch or go for a short walk, hydrate and nourish, drink water or make a nice non-alcoholic drink, change outfit, put on a different shirt to signal a fresh start.

Steven Killfoil: 10:12

Health is a direction, not a streak. Do a mental reboot, focus on one thing, decide on the very next small productive task, for example, washing one dish. Listen to some music, play your favorite upbeat music, or create a new playlist. I find it helpful when I'm studying a new topic to play Mozart lightly in the background and to diffuse some peppermint oil. Both of these addresses two of your senses, hearing and smell. Your eyes are reading the new literature and you are touching the book, the tablet, or paper you are reading. The more senses you bring into something, the greater the chances are that you will retain what you learn. Connect, talk to a loved one or call someone you appreciate, and do something hands-on. Engage in a craft or a simple chore to feel accomplished. In my case, I pick up my guitar and I play a song or I try to write a new one.

Mady Killfoil: 11:29

The most powerful shift isn't what you do, it's who you believe you are. Building a healthy identity involves a process of self-exploration, self-compassion, and intentional action to align your life with your core values and beliefs. It requires continuous effort and patience and forms a foundation for self-confidence, strong relationships, and overall well-being.

Steven Killfoil: 12:01

Instead of saying, I'm trying to be healthy, think of Yoda from Star Wars. He told Luke, do not try. Do identify your values and beliefs. Determine what is truly meaningful to you. Reflect on where these values currently appear in your life and how you can better incorporate them into your daily actions. My father is a United States Marine, and he taught me the Marine Corps way to overcome South Doubt by believing you can do all things, be proud of their uniform, to never quit, and to always give maximum effort.

Mady Killfoil: 12:52

Say, I'm someone who takes care of myself. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your natural talents, skills, and areas for improvements. This helps you understand who you are at your best and builds self-esteem.

Steven Killfoil: 13:12

Identity drives behavior. Build a supportive environment. Cultivate positive relationships. Supportive relationships help affirm your identity and build self-esteem. Hang out with people who are positive, who are successful. Avoid negative people or those who would pull you down. These sayings are true. Birds of a feather flock together and you are what you eat or absorb.

Mady Killfoil: 13:49

Yes, it's very true. I probably don't have too many friends because I'm trying to stay away from the negative people. I can feel them, I'm observing their behavior, and if they are always gossiping, uh unhappy, uh beaching about something, I'm just backing out and just I'm keeping away from them because um they are sucking actually your your uh positive energy and they will give you their negative energy. And that's that you know, it's you can feel it, it's putting you down. Okay, so let's recap part one. Start with food. Go to our YouTube channel www.youtube.com/ @ CossRoads Podcast -qn7of, and download the link for the PDF file on the healthy plate guide, which is teaching you how to build your plate. Remember, to build your plate, you need four things: 25% carbohydrates, 25% fiber, 20% fat, and 30% protein. Or, in other words, you need four to five servings of starchy carbs daily, with one serving equals 15 grams minus the fiber, which will give you the net carbs or the size of your closed fist. You need five to seven servings of fibrous carbs daily, with one serving equals three to five grams. You need 10 servings of healthy fats daily with one serving equals 10 to 15 grams or two thumbs put together, and you need three to four servings of protein daily with one serving equals 10 to 15 grams or the whole size of your palm.

Steven Killfoil: 16:07

That's right, and remember in that episode, I also mentioned go to Walmart, buy an electronic digital scale, and it's less than 20 bucks, and you can't go wrong because then you have the exact measure.

Mady Killfoil: 16:23

I saw one the other day, it's like 1099 or something.

Steven Killfoil: 16:26

Yeah, so there's no excuse, no excuse at all. Yes. Well, recapping part two uh builds habits, not motivation. Again, go to the YouTube channel www.youtube.com/@CrossRoadsPodcast-qn7of. Download the link for the PDF file on the healthy checklist for 2026. So how do you habit stack? Well, you choose a habit that you already do regularly, like brushing your teeth, brewing coffee, or taking off your shoes. You link the new habit you want to build this to an established routine. Clearly define the new behavior and its timing to create a seamless connection. And this matters because most people quit when habits feel overwhelming. Some of the benefits for creating new habits are reducing friction. You leverage existing routines so you don't need to remember another new thing, which requires less mental effort. Your brain uses existing cues requiring less decision making or builds momentum, creating a habit staircase where you can layer more good habits.

Mady Killfoil: 17:57

And now, part three, protect your mindset. This will be up on our YouTube channel as well.

Steven Killfoil: 18:06

That's how real health sticks.

Mady Killfoil: 18:10

Folks, if you remember one thing from this series, this is it.

Steven Killfoil: 18:17

You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

Mady Killfoil: 18:20

Exactly. You just have to keep showing up.

Steven Killfoil: 18:24

Well, thank you for listening to Health News with Steven and Mady on Cross Roads Podcast. This episode was sponsored by author Stefan McDermott, who wrote the book Achieve Optimal Brain Health with Nutrition, an easy to follow holistic guide to help boost memory, mental clarity, and cognitive function with recipes and examples anyone can use daily. Get your copy today on Amazon.com. That's Achieve Optimal Brain Health with Nutrition by Stefan McDermott. Until next time, stay focused, stay healthy, stay consistent. And we'll see you at the top. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Speaker: 19:32

Cross Roads Podcast presents Health News with Steven and Mady. For those who want to be in the know.